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 Embrace Your Shape by Geralyn Coopersmith, MA, CSCS Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say,"Hey world, I am what I am!" ~ La Cage Aux Folles I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam ~ Popeye, The Sailor Man We've all heard the expression, "the grass is always greener on the other side". Well, nowhere in life is that more true then when it comes to women and our collective body image. It seems no matter what our bodies look like, virtually every woman I know seems to pine for a shape very different then her own. Women with hips want to lose them, women with no butt want to get one, larger-breasted women want smaller ones, smaller-breasted women want bigger ones...it goes and on and on. And I'm not pointing fingers here, because I understand this fixation on two levels. First, as a woman who's been there with her own issues (don't panic -- there aren't enough megabytes for me to discuss all of them here ;-). And second, as a fitness professional who's hears her clients complain about their bodies on a daily basis. You name the body part and I've heard plenty of women on "either side of the fence" wishing they were in the "neighbor's yard". Growing up I played with my share of Barbies and I thought she was the pinnacle of female beauty. Those legs, that hair, the tiny waistline, her impeccable fashion sense. And I was sure that one day I would look grown up and just like her. (But then of course, I also thought I would end up with Malibu Ken riding around in the camper.) In any case, without realizing it I had internalized the notion of the "Barbie body" as the ultimate goal of physical womanhood. And shock of shocks --reality (and puberty) had different things in mind for me. To my complete surprise and dismay -- I ended up not looking like Barbie at all!! If you've read my "Being Barbie" post you know that such a female structure is actually a physiological impossibility. In fact, scientists have actually used computer-generated images to prove that a woman with those dimension could not survive. But that is reality -- and thirteen year-old girls don't care much for reality. So, throughout my teens years and into young adulthood I constanly chastised myself for all of my perceived flaws. It was as if there were a side-by-side comparison of what I did look like vs. what I imagined I was supposed to look like. I was constantly going through some mental checklist, identifying all the areas where I came up short in comparison to this unnatural standard. I honestly didn't think it was unrealistic to hold myself to this standard, because I found hard evidence that there were lots of women who did look this way. They were all over the pages of the fashion magazines I read. Tons of them in every issue. Every one of them much closer to the Barbie Body than I was. So clearly it was attainable. Clearly, I was doing something wrong. Apparently there were secrets to diet and exercise that they knew and I didn't. I felt sure that if I just worked harder, had better self-discipline, that I too could look like this. What I didn't understand at that time was that models are "freaks of nature". That they are born not made. Moreover, they are a statistical rarity. Consider these facts: The average model is actually thinner than 98% of American women. Only 5% of women on the entire planet, have a “model’s body” type naturally. The average model wears a size two to four. The average American woman is a size 12 to 14. The average model is 5' 11" and weighs 110 lbs. The normal weight range for a 5' 11" woman is actually 135-176 lbs. The average woman is 5' 5" and weighs 145 lbs. And just for the record I'm not bashing models here. Some of my good friends are models. And yes, they are gorgeous. They are professionally gorgeous. THEIR LOOKS ARE UNUSUAL. Most women don't look this way and -- that is why models make the big bucks. So for the majority of us to aspire to look like models is both foolhardy -- and tragic. And just for the record, my model friends are usually just as critical of their "perfect" bodies as much (if not more so) as the rest of us. Your reality is what you make it. If you believe you are great (and you are) just the way you are, then that is your truth. Sure, its fine to want to be more fit, more healthy, even improve some aesthetics. But you still need to accept and value yourself, "as is". "I'm already pretty damn amazing -- and I'm only getting better!". A big part of that, is determining the genetic hand that Mother Nature dealt you. Then you need to embrace your unique body shape. In my book, I talk about the fact that we tend to come in six basic shapes. These six types are based on two broad categories: where we hold body our fat and how likely we are to store body fat. Specifically, we are either apples or pears, based on where we tend to hold our body fat. Apples hold their extra weight around the middle and pears hold their extra weight in the hips, thighs and buttocks. In addition to that, we are either: ectomorphs (who have a hard time putting on weight), mesomorphs (who tend to be naturally more muscular and sinewy) and endomorphs (who tend to gain weight easily and lose weight slowly). In combination that leaves us with six general shapes: ecto-pear, ecto-apple, meso-pear, meso-apple, endo-pear and endo-apple. Each body shape will have their own unique concerns and will require a different program of diet and exercise (I detail a program of diet and exercise for each in my book, Fit & Female). But the bottom line is if you have an endo-pear body, it is totally unrealistic for you to aspire to look like an ecto-apple. That is just not your body type. It's like Gwenyth Paltrow wanting to be Beyonce Knowles or vice versa. They are both amazing-looking women with their own particular brand of beauty! Obsessing about how to transform yourself into somebody that realistically you aren't supposed to be is a sure set-up for life-long frustration and body-image dissatisfaction. Try to be real with yourself about who you are supposed to be. Do you have short legs, a little bit of middle, a big round booty, boobs that aren't "perfect"? Are you too skinny, too heavy? So what? Your looks are what make you unique, like a snow flake -- ever single one is magnificent and every one is slightly different. This is who you are. Who you are supposed to be. You are not a cookie cutter image. You're a flesh and blood woman. Certainly you should take care of your health. You should try to be as fit as possible. But then "own" what you are, take pride in your uniqueness -- and then get out there and work your particular version of fabulous for all its worth. Sure, it might have been nice to turn out like Barbie, but then again Malibu Ken was never much of a conversationalist -- and I'm sure I would have gone stir-crazy living in that camper. Click Here For More Articles Disclaimer: The information contained in this newsletter is not intended as a substitute for medical care. Not all exercises are appropriate for all individuals. Please consult with your doctor before beginning any exercise program. Geralyn Coopersmith, MA, CSCS is the author of Fit and Female: The Perfect Fitness and Nutrition Game Plan for Your Unique Body Type and the creator of The Best Me Ever -- A Complete Weight Loss, Fat-Burning and Muscle Sculpting System |
